I Miss You
Being home feels...surreal.
I keep waiting for the moment that everything goes back to “normal,” but I’m unsure that moment will come.
I miss her. I miss her so damn much. She brought out the best parts of me. I feel like I’m missing a vital limb.
Usually, I would attempt to block the emotions pounding my heart, but that is not what the trail taught me. She taught me to be still with what’s going on inside of me. To be okay with my fragile heart.
I constantly feel her presence. I hear her whisper in my ear, telling me it’s going to be okay; and to take my time grieving our breakup. Because what we had was a beautiful thing. But we both knew that it wasn’t going to last forever. It couldn’t.
As I sit in this busy coffee shop, watching fellow humans live their congested lives, I debate the following:
How will I adapt? How will I ever move on?
If I’m honest with myself, a part of me wants to dive back into what was and what used to be... to pretend that nothing ever happened between us and I’m the same ole’ me.
But I’m not the same me and I never will be again.
I miss you. And I love you.
November 13, 2018