Change Your Perception to Change Your Reality

As someone who has identified with a mental illness for the majority of their life, there is both a sense of captivity and a sense of freedom with this phrase.

On one hand, I have spent wayyyyy too much time in my life fighting the reality of my brain’s chemical imbalances, blaming myself for allowing such negative feelings and thoughts to consume my life.

On the other hand, if this mantra really is as true as science and research say it is, then perhaps even I have a chance to shift my perspective in a way that benefits my life…perhaps with a little bit of help.

But how?

Step 1: Accept that you can change your perception into a more fulfilling reality

As many of you know, I am a mental health therapist.

I have the honor of sharing space with folks who are seeking out resources to better their lives, and as encouraging as it is to be around that kind of intention, I have grown QUITE the ego as far as practicing what I preach.

Even as a therapist, Change can be terrifying and I have always been extremely resistant to what all change entails.

Fortunately (or unfortunately) this resistance to change literally defines the human experience. The sooner we can accept that, the easier it will be to make the decisions that none of us want to make but need to make in order to shift our perspective during difficult times. It takes an incredible amount of courage to accept that making changes in our life will actually benefit us, especially if this change is something we have never experienced before.

Acceptance is a process in and of itself—so be kind to yourself. Talking with others that you look up to and hearing about how they began to make these changes in their life can be extremely helpful to understand your own needs.

Step 2: Commit to what works for YOU

I have personally found that step 2 is the most difficult part of this process because it requires privilege, a lot of trial and error, and the ability to identify and let go of what isn’t working for you at the time.

Commitment to what works can look like many things. It can look like committing to moving your body every day so that you can get out of your head. It can look like prioritizing meditation so that you can learn how to let go of overwhelming feelings. It can look like changing your diet to avoid foods that trigger your anxiety. Whatever shift you're trying to make in your perspective, commit to the process without comparing your needs with those of others.

What works for you someone else doesn't have to work for anybody else.

Another aspect of this commitment is also committing to the resources and tools that have been created to support this shift in perspective. Do your research, find a therapist, talk with others with similar struggles, and avoid any thought patterns that assume that you're above the science of psychology.

Okay, maybe I lied a little bit—this next step may be the hardest step of them all.

Step 3: Radical self-compassion

I wish I could tell you that changing our perspective was going to make life much easier, but unfortunately, that's not the case. However, Radical self-compassion? This step makes the ugly stuff turn into something much more approachable.

Let me explain:

The more we can show up for ourselves with compassion and love, the quicker we can fall AND get back up again. Changing our perspective doesn't minimize the amount we mess up, in fact, it often brings more awareness of how often it happens. But the freedom of changing our perspective is that we are now able to see the times we fall short as opportunities to forgive ourselves AND to move forward with more grace for ourselves, as well as others.

Radical Self-acceptance and compassion are the gateway to living a life that we are proud of.

Because no matter what, we are only human, and as complex as we think we are, we are extremely predictable when it comes to patterns of behavior.

So let's embrace it. Let’s accept that we are going to feel very big emotions, and as much as we want to avoid them, let's learn to actually feel them without allowing the little voice in our heads to shame us for the experience. Let’s accept that it's natural to want to resist the hard stuff and that our instinct is to avoid pain.

And let's radically show ourselves that it's okay.

It’s okay to be impacted by our past narratives, and it’s okay to get stuck in negative thought patterns.

Because the sooner we allow ourselves permission to be human, the sooner we can also accept that as humans, we are highly adaptable, brilliant beings, capable of making our dreams into reality, even when the world is against us.

MINDFULNESS PRACTICE:

Let’s take a moment to assess. Close your eyes, if you feel safe to do so. Settle into your body. Scan your body and assess how it feels. Notice where you hold tension and stress, but without judging that part of yourself.

With curiosity, ask that part of yourself what it needs.

Maybe it needs some tender care. Maybe it needs to be seen. Maybe that part of you needs to know that it's going to be okay.

Whatever they need, offer that compassion. Offer that radical acceptance. And if you're not able to offer anything to that part of yourself, tell them that they are seen, that they are enough, and that they are loved.

Take a few deep breaths.

And when you're ready, open your eyes.

Journal your thoughts and write down any changes you noticed before and after the practice.

You are loved. you are enough. and you got this.

Much love,

Grizel