How to Deal with Fear
My superpower is that I can empathize with literally anything… even a rock.
I don't know if my empathy comes from genetics or my LatinX upbringing, but this characteristic is why I love being a therapist, and why I love partnership, and it fuels my passion to advocate for marginalized communities. After all, allowing ourselves to feel seen and validated is the gateway to healing.
But like any superpower, there is a downside:
I feel deeply for others…and therefore I feel deep within myself.
Even though there’s nothing inherently wrong with this, it can be a problem if you never learn how to allow these deep feelings to pass through you.
The first 8 years of my life, it was mostly me, my two sisters, and my mom.
My dad was never a big part of my life, so the only male exposure I had in early childhood came from my grandpa Tuto. To this day, he is one of my favorite humans on the planet.
Shortly after my parents separated, my mom met my stepdad online. We packed up all our things and moved to Johnson City, TN, which could probably imagine, it was much different than Miami, Fl.
It all happened so fast, it’s difficult to comprehend how I felt in the midst of all the change. I was so young, so it’s hard for me to remember the overwhelming emotions that consumed me. All I knew for certain was that I didn't want to see the people I loved the most feel the kind of pain I was feeling. Regardless of whether they were feeling it or not, I took it upon myself to empathize with their pain in order to dismiss the overwhelming fear that lived inside of me from that moment forward.
It’s human nature to run away from things that hurt us, and it’s instinctual to avoid what feels like too much pain.
This is known as our fight and flight response, and this response is ALSO a superpower.
Without it, we would never know what keeps us safe or how to navigate our fears, since it’s what allows us to know that we aren't safe.
But like any superpower, it has a downside:
Just because my brain is telling me I'm unsafe, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I am unsafe.
This instinct is one of our biggest strengths, and it can quickly become our greatest weakness if we don't know how to navigate the type of fear that overwhelms us.
Let me be clear, I am not saying that you need to face every fear you have, regardless of what your brain is signaling—remember, our bodies deserve to be heard.
It’s when we learn how to challenge that fear with acceptance and compassion that we can also allow those intense feelings to not only flow in you, but through you, and OUT of You.
The best part is that you have everything you need inside of you.
Journal Questions:
Who is someone you look up to? What about them is so empowering?
What was the scariest moment of your life? How do you see that feeling come back into your life?
What would it mean for you to live a fearless life?
What is one small fearless action step you can make today to live the life you want to live?
